I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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