Are we in a gay sports bar?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
