so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
