Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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