Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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