escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
