Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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