I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
