When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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