I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
