Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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