dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
