so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
