You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
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Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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