oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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