And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
