We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
