Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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