she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize