she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
