The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
