we made out on top of his cat.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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