I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
that's an acceptable place to lick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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