If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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