this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
