I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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