We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
