..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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