We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
