Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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