hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
