well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
