Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
