In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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