We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
