Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
