Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
