so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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