honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
