yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
