Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
