The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
