some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
