Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
