Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize