I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
