btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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