Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
