why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
