$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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