Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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