I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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