My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
