Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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