I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
