Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
