Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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