My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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