chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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