So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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