We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
