Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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